42 to 36
This past weekend I went shopping specifically for pants. It was time for this adventure because my older jeans were just not staying on. You know how your toddler walks around with a saggy diaper in their pants and it looks like the entire getup is about to fall off? That's what I felt like in my older jeans. I was due!
After getting a pair of jeans, doing my little jig in the dressing room, I came home to put them in my jean drawer. As I took my older jeans off, I paused for a minute between my drawers and closet. Do I need to save these? Do I add them to my pile of clothes for donation? Where do I put them?
In the past I would have saved my older jeans that were too big because the "what if's" start to play a song in my head. What if I gain all my weight back? What if I don't have any pants to wear because I threw them out? What if I just wasted a bunch of money on clothes that will someday soon not fit again? That's when I called a truce between my two inner thoughts to just stop the commotion in my head.
I told myself that in the past I would save them and what did that do for me? It set me up for failure because it was like I was planning to bounce back to the old me. Do I really feel like that person anymore? No! My inner Sonia is a totally different person: a person who puts my needs first, a person who's energized, a person who eats in a way that feels good, and a person who's ready for a different size pant. So I tossed them into the pile that's going out the door.
Not only did I feel a pair of pants was necessary, but I also needed to embark on a new bra escapade. We all know as women that bra shopping can be a ton of fun- especially if you've been someone who has a specific size and are limited in the cute department. Thankfully, bigger size under garments have come a long way and our clothing industry is finally realizing curvy women deserve some sparkle too!
Many friends recommended the shopping outlets or larger department stores, but I had always walked by Victoria's Secret and dreamed of trying on something a bit more sassy with lots of pink. So that's where I was headed. After a tutorial of how to measure myself (because with Covid we can't have others measuring us), and trying on numerous sizes to find the right fit, I think I landed the perfect support needed. When I told the woman helping me that I have come in a size 42 and now she's telling me I am a 36, clearly this Momma needs some help. I also told her it's time for something a little bit more fun besides just your everyday, pinto bean colored bra. She guided me to the drawer of fun ones and my daughter's inner sparkle came out in me- I told myself get the tasteful cheetah!
When I returned back to the room, of course it was locked. The woman who came to let me in told me that room is off limits. She showed me the "closed" sign. I told her I am sure I have my belongings in there, just take a look. After what felt like eternity of me explaining that I was positive I tried on clothes in there, I was ready to crawl under the door to prove my saggy undershirt, stretched out bra, and sweater were in fact there. She went to get a second key opened the door, and saw my clothes. No apology from her, no smile, she just let me in. I mean, what's happened to customer service? I was ready to tell her she can have all that's in there, but I am wearing this new, baby pink bra out of here.
I continued trying on some PJ's and decided to wait until I found just what was right. In the past, if something went on me and seemed to fit, I would buy it because Lord knows when I will find another outfit that goes on. I put on my undershirt and then my t-shirt and asked myself, "Why do you need an undershirt?" I realized I was hiding my own skin under that shirt- all the layers possible to keep any flab from showing. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized, I really didn't need that shirt. Why for so many years was I wearing all this? Why did I take so long to take myself shopping? When I told my mom about the size I was wearing she asked, "how have you been living?"
It's time for us to stop layering the padding to cover up what's under our clothes. When it's freezing weather and we want to bundle up, that's one thing, but if it's just a shield to hide our bodies behind, that's another. Wearing fitting clothes that highlight our figure is not something to be ashamed of. As moms we might be more comfortable in high-waisted pants at some point, but that doesn't mean we should think negatively about the extra skin, stretch marks, or folds in the place we once housed a baby. The change in chest size reminds us of all we did to provide nourishment for those littles. Think of all the hard work your body went through just to bring another human into this world. It's remarkable and we can do hard things. It's time to show that body off!
Make time to go out and spoil yourself a little- whether it's a new pair of jeans or time to get a little more sparkle under that shirt, treat yourself! It's amazing how just one new item can make you feel like a runway model in just a short time. Get out there and walk down that red carpet.